As we write this blog, Christmas is descending upon us. It’s that time of year when distinguished gents with distinguished white beards prepare for plenty of extra glances coming their way. Those snowy whiskers attract extra attention when everyone’s thinking about Santa, snowy landscapes and all the fun that follows.
But the holidays also bring parties and lashings of amazing food - which can spell trouble for gray and white beards. The last thing the most interesting man in the room (you) needs is people staring for the wrong reasons, like when food has smeared itself across that beard, creating a stain that stands out like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.
It doesn’t even have to be the holidays though. Those same foods will discolor a white lion’s mane at any time of year.
We’ll examine the worst culprits and most dangerous suspects. Then we’ll help point you towards how to avoid having your beard defiled altogether.
Turmeric is that bright yellow spice used in curries and many other foods. It stains nearly everything it touches yellow. If you have white countertops, you already know it takes at least 10 minutes (or more) to scrub away the residual yellow mark it leaves. And that is a smooth countertop!
So, if you have a white beard, curry is a total pest.
Turmeric is a food to approach like it’s a cornered tiger!
As much as we all love foods oozing with grease and oil, like at parties or watching football with buddies, your white beard loves to absorb that grease and oil just as much.
As you munch into fried chicken, pizza, or a burger, dripping grease dives headfirst for your facial hair. And that oily stuff isn’t clear like water, either. It will leave a yellowish-brown stain in your white whiskers. Even if it’s mixed with ketchup or mustard, after you rinse and blot the stained area, there’s still a murky smudge spoiling the pure whiteness. It’s so frustrating.
Whether you have a daily frappuccino from Starbucks or an espresso shot or a mug of English tea, those caffeinated hot beverages love to give a white beard a tan. Even small drips stand out obviously on that white background.
If these beverages will stain your teeth, they’ll think nothing of staining your white beard.
Maybe you might need to switch to white. It’s a funny story… Charlemagne, the first Emperor of the Roman Empire did just that back in the 9th century. And for the same reasons. He loved red wine and enjoyed it regularly. With age, his beard turned white, at which point red wine stains became an obvious problem. His wife hated them with a passion and told him to stop drinking wine. Charlemagne didn’t want to give in and so switched to white wine.
The rest is literally history. He avoided beard stains and remained looking regal while annoying his wife. 😎
Who knows? You might grow to love the white wines out there!
The list is long… gravy, ketchup, mustard, buffalo sauce, soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, and so on. Ribs and wings are so delicious, yet so saturated with BBQ sauce or buffalo sauce. Then there are dips, jams, jellies and salad dressings.
Messy isn’t a maybe, it’s inevitable. And your white beard pays the price!
Pass the wet naps, please!
Breakfast tastes sooooo good with a gooey fried egg flowing across your plate of bacon. But when you have a white beard, it’s embarrassing to be tasting breakfast for a second time an hour later.
Egg yolks don’t just stain a white beard, they dry up in it like glue. It’s a pain to wash out. You’ll need a premium beard wash to remove the stain without stripping your beard of essential conditioning. You’ll also need to keep a supreme beard brush on hand.
The orange dust is the worst! It clings to a beard and can be blindingly obvious.
Once you get these tiny orange suckers into your white beard, you need to rinse/wash immediately or else you’ll easily have remnants and stains until the next day.
If beets turn your 💩 red, they’ll think nothing of your white bristles.
So delicious. So full of dark pigments.
Berry juice stains your fingers (like when picking them), so it will stain your beard. It takes some persistent washing to clean things up.
That’s right! It’s not all bad news!
With age comes wisdom. And you should have the wisdom of how to deal with food stains on your white beard, or maybe even avoid them.
But in case you have just grown out your beard…
First, we have a blog loaded with our best tips on how to eat messy foods when you have a beard. There are some very handy techniques. Better to avoid the stain than avoid the food!
Second, we know of a great beard wash that’s been perfectly balanced to remove food stains from a white beard without removing its moisture or luster.
Third, you can make adjustments to your lifestyle that are good in so many ways, like avoiding smoking/vaping and avoiding staining beverages!
Fourth, with that pure white beard magic at its finest, you’ll confidently attend any gathering and look majestic in front of everyone!
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